Making Messes in Kroger

All I wanted was some yogurt.

Today I went to get groceries. I walked through the doors and decided against a cart because I only needed two things: Greek yogurt and a toothbrush. Anyone who has ever grocery shopped ever knows you never just get the two things you came in for, so I should have known.

Well I'm bulletting right towards the Greek yogurt fridge when I came across a lovely apple display. The big 5lb bag of my absolute favorites were on sale. This day just got good. So I stopped and closely examined the entire selection twice and finally chose a bag. Really proud of my discount apples, I resumed my walk to the yogurt section.

On my merry way, I looked down at my apples and realized my key chain had somehow gotten stuck in the side of the apple bag, so naturally, I simply pulled it out. It took a tug or two, but I managed. Well, that dumb string it was caught on must have been the entire stinking backbone to the bag because all of a sudden, the bag literally exploded like one of those fancy knots that you pull and the whole thing comes apart. Apples shot everywhere. Really, I'm not exaggerating. I was quite honestly shocked, and therefore my reflexes were a little stunned. I attempted to grab the apples but it was like one of those money box machines where the dollar bills just blow around and you try to grab as many as you can. That was me with the apples, and I only managed one. So I was left to stare at the ground at the rolling missiles with a singular apple in my hand. People stopped and stared. Horrified, I looked at the guy next to me and my stunned and slightly frozen self said, "Oh dear, what do I do?"

He walked quietly away with a little shrug.

Miraculously, an attractive guy that I couldn't even bring myself to make eye contact with ended up helping me pick them up. We stacked them in the freezer aisle until I had to move all of them (it took three trips people) back to the nice lady working in the bakery section. People stared as I tried to carry as many apples as possible in my two small hands. I'm pretty sure that one lady thought I was being illegal as I threw away one of the busted ones dripping its guts all over me.

Overall, it was rough. I had some issues with the Kroger card, too. But we don't need to go there.